We were all trying so hard to live up to an ideal driven by guilt, shame and conservative politics which ignored human emotions. After a long, long time I realized I wasn’t a bad person. Of course, I still would have promoted abstinence as I was heartbroken from the whole experience, just like they had warned me. Then I realized something else: that was the reason I felt bad.
Family: The First Line of Defense…
by T. K.
Nothing raises my red flags faster than the phrase: ”You can tell me anything…”
or “Sit down, let’s talk”
For as long as I can remember. Any conversation that started that way between myself and my parents left me feeling confused, paranoid, and feeling charged with the crime of breaking their hearts.
When it comes to sex and sexuality in the household, don’t get it twisted- your parents are not your friends, they don’t want to just talk. I’ve found that what they would like to do is instill fear, judgement, and shame in you that makes you scared to learn about yourself and the world around you.
When does familial concern become slut- shaming?
view relationship “experts” who claim they can teach you “how men/women think” with the same suspicion as you’d view people selling pyramid schemes.
"I am privy to knowledge of an entire [socially constructed] gender!"
"I can tell you how to be filthy rich in under a year!"
nope and nope.
Does birth control really make you gain weight?
The purity movement has had the problematic effect of removing intentionality from the sexual equation, particularly for single people. It has long been a source of deep shame for many, and shame is an ingrained response that is hard to move past. But being intentional, being safe, is far better emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Be intentional. Take those steps. And be free.
We carry her by resisting the urge to find the exact moment of the night in question that she could’ve had made a different choice, that she should’ve been back home, that she should’ve decided to sequester herself in her bedroom until the world stops producing boys who believe women are soulless slabs of sexual objectivity.