Marriage is Not Consent-SHARE YOUR STORIES
This morning someone on Twitter alerted me to this blog post on a Christian blog entitled “The Forgiven Wife”. To call it disturbing is an understatement. This blog focuses on Christian wives who are so-called “gatekeepers”of sex with their husbands and discourages “refusal” by claiming it’s their God-given duty to have sex with their husbands. It also spouts the same tired, outdated tropes that men are “wired” to want sex more, and what’s worse, that wives are “hurting” their husbands when they refuse sex.
Friends, this is rape culture personified.
No one, no matter what their relationship is to you, no matter how long you have been together, is EVER entitled to sex. EVER.
You do not have some sort of God-given duty to have sex with your spouse. Sex is a consensual act between people who care about and trust one another. Period.
I set out to write a response but instead, in keeping with No Shame Movement’s purpose as a platform for sharing stories, I’d like to invite married people (currently and formerly) to share your stories.
Were you taught similar messages?
What have you unlearned regarding sex within marriage?
You may submit through the submission button or the ask button, or you can email firstname.lastname@example.org and I can post your stories online. Please indicate in your email if you want to remain anonymous.
You may also share your stories on Twitter using the hashtag #Marriageisnotconsent.
I looked at that Forgiven Wife post, big mistake. I am ready to cry. Being raised in churches that believed these things wholeheartedly is such a source of anger for me as an adult.
I am in control of my sexual choices and what is right for my body. I am not a gatekeeper to the thing “all men are after.” I AM NOT A HOLE TO FILL.